Sincere people are a rarity. This is because people have been deceived that being smart entails deception. Whoever believes such believes himself to be smart; which is a lie, since the belief is itself a lie. The real smartness should lie in being able to get what you wish by genuine means, despite the hard truth of a circumstance. Those who lie are not smart, they are just spineless; too cowardly to face the truth or speak it, and so they deceive themselves that deception is the way of the world, but in their hearts they are never at peace.
But sincerity is expensive. Of course it is. How many rare things do you know to come cheap? Well, I know of one, though: Common sense. Yes, indeed it is cheap but its use is quite rare.
If you have felt wronged by someone or felt cheated by them, just try to stay calm. I will not say that things will get better because I really don’t know if they will. And for what it’s worth, they probably won’t for a long while, but you can make the best of a bad situation by trying your best to let the disturbance remain external; because when it gets within your mind and you begin to take it to heart, you will suffer. You will suffer and most of the world will not care, because everyone each has what makes them lose sleep at night.
Happiness will come when you have accepted that it is partly a pursuit, but mostly a state of mind. In this world, few are happy. Very much indeed do I wish that our lives were as fulfilled, or as glamorous as they are on Facebook; or that every marriage would be as happy as those lovely features that pop up on BellaNaija, but those are merely some aspects; one side of the multi-faced conundrum that the struggle for peaceful existence in the world of human beings constantly proves to be.
You were not given the choice to be born, to be alive; but you have the choice to keep on living. If there’s a set purpose to life, then that’s a fine thing! But more often than not life actually presents itself as pointless, and it is: because you will definitely suffer for no apparent reason. For no fault of your own, you will be wearied, and the scarce moments of joy and respite that come so few and far between will be gone away almost as quickly as they came.
So you don’t have to physically kill yourself to already be dead; where everything around you seems to go by as if it is a blurry mess, or a fine detail of activities you feel as absolutely having no part in. But be of good cheer. Even if you aren’t, just try to. This feeling, or should I say, this feeling of a lack of feeling… it at least shows that you feel something. So, hold on to that. Keep living for the sake of it.
On the other hand, don’t be bothered when people try to make you feel guilty for wanting to die when you apparently have no problems in life, where they tell you that you are so selfish because you should look at all those suffering in poverty or some physical handicap. You have no problems; yes, maybe. You have no right to complain; yes, probably. But then that fact itself is a problem to you: So, there, you have a problem. Now, breathe.
And so you might choose to create your own purpose by helping people in any way you can, but that’s if you want to. Do not do it to get friends, or because you want to be seen as a good person. Thankfully, you don’t have to be a good person to be able to do good things, so there is still hope. You don’t even have to have a burning zeal to make the world a better place, or have your heart brimming over with the love of humanity. You don’t even need to like the people you help. You can carry on with your simple, reserved, unaffected, quiet lifestyle and even have people doubt your true intentions or motives for helping them. With time, you would have cultivated the habit, and then your habit will become something purposeful. With any luck, over time you will begin to feel something of a semblance of connection to the world and people around you again.
So you sit and think and wonder how people are the way they are; and why they do the things they do. The short answer is that people are what they are; or should I say, they are what they choose to be. Don’t worry with the thinking. It is tempting to do so, but it can be destructive. You will not make sense of it. You can try though; so that it won’t be that you didn’t, but you probably won’t succeed.
And now to sum it up: never trust anyone, and never think a person can never fail you. Just be assured that they may love you enough to genuinely try their best not to. Their act of bringing themselves to this “trying to” is what makes them worthy of your company; such that the best they do to be true to you is their true and honest best. But sometimes their best is not good enough. Intentions are noble, but actions are what they are, and expected outcomes are not set in stone.
People are fickle; some for no fault of their own, mostly because they do not know any better. Some because they think it is smart to use people, and some because they are jaded from past experiences, or afraid of making commitments, while some are lazy and do not like to take responsibility for anything. Some others become weak at the very last moment – the most painful kind – so never put your trust in anyone. The only consolation you can get is that it wasn’t their intention to betray you right from the beginning, even if they eventually end up doing so (and they will). Bear this in mind, and you will not have constant headaches over the ways and behaviours of the children of men, who you yourself are part of, so you will bear them no grudges; and if you still insist that you must have friends despite all these, be always ready to forgive.
You might feel lonely, but sometimes all you need to do is take a walk or sit at your doorstep and look out at the night sky. Extra marks if there are stars out, twinkling delightedly all about everywhere. Mother Nature has not abandoned us yet; with her gift of trees and breeze by day and of starry skies by night. Let us not forget the moon; whether in half, or with the ever so faint tint of it coming from a wispy sliver of a thin crescent glinting as tantalizingly dim. There you have it. Your night sky is set, and you’re in for a treat. If it’s a full moon that night then you’re golden. ♦
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